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Soyayya kafin aure da soyayya bayan aure, wanne ya fi?

  • A ci gaba da kawo muku yadda muhawarar Zauren Marubuta na Manhajar Bakandamiya ta guda na, karawa ta goma sha daya za ku ga yadda kungiyoyin Arewa Writers Association da na Golden Pen Writers Association suka yi tsayuwar gwamin jaki a taken muhawararsu mai cewa: Soyayya kafin aure da soyayya bayan aure, wanne ya fi? Inda kowace kungiya ta kawo hujjojinta wadanda ke bayyana alkiblarsu a gwabzawar. Muhawarar ta wakana ne a ranar 4/12/2020.

    AREWA WRITERS ASSOCIATION

    Soyayyar bayan aure tafi armashi akan ta kafin aure.

    Amincin Allah Ya tabbata a gare ku, alƙalan gasa, abokanan karawarmu da ‘yan uwa mahalarta wannan taron.

    Na tsayu a nan ne don kare martabar soyayyar bayan aure.

    Hmm! Na yi mamakin jin cewa ashe akwai masu jayayya akan soyayyar bayan aure.

    Kafin mu je ga hujjoji, ya kamata mu fara sanin shin menene So?

    So gamo ne na jini da kan afku lokaci ɗaya sakamakon gani na ido ko saurare na kunnuwa, ko sakamakon kusantuwar gangar jiki.

    Ita kuwa soyayyar bayan aure ita ce ginshiƙin jin daɗin rayuwar ma’aurata.

    Soyayyar bayan aure tafi muhimmanci da tasiri a zuƙata saboda hujjojina kamar haka;

    Hujja Ta Farko

    Idan har aka so juna bayan aure, tabbas ba wani abu da zai kankare wannan soyayyar, saɓanin kafin aure da ko da yaushe za a iya canza akalar tafiyar.

    A zamanin iyayenmu ba su san wata soyayyar kafin aure ba, amma sakamakon tausayi, soyayyar da suke samu bayan aure, sai ka ga sun zauna ƙalau ba mai jin kansu.

    Irin wannan soyayyar tafi tasiri domin ita ce dauwamammiya wacce ke tattare da ni’imar aure.

    A irin wannan soyayyar ne ma’aurata zasu ji cewa basa son nisantar juna, bare abinda zai raba tsakaninsu.

    Hujja Ta Biyu

    Soyayyar bayan aure ita ce soyayya ta haƙiƙa, mai cike da tasiri.

    Domin daman can kun riga kun fahimci junanku, hakan zai sa so ya yi tasiri a gare ku.

    Haka zalika ita kanta soyayyar kafin aure ana yinta ne, don cimma cikakken jin daɗi da soyayya bayan aure.

    Akwai daga cikin tasirin soyayyar bayan aure, kasancewa tare kodayaushe, a ƙarƙashin inuwa ɗaya.

    Irin wannan soyayyar tana kusanta ka ga abun ƙaunarka, ku zama tare a kodayaushe.

    Ku ci abinci tare, ku yi wasa da barci tare, wanda soyayyar kafin aure ba ta samu wannan gatan ba.

    A cikin wannan soyayyar ne ake muradin samun Magaji don alfahari da nuna girman darajar wannan soyayya mai tsagwaron lada.

    Hujja Ta Uku

    Hmm! Babban goro sai magogin ƙarfe, kin ci zamanin wasu kuma kina kan cin naki, sai soyayyar bayan aure.

    A irin wannan soyayyar ne masoya ke zama tamkar jini ɗaya, a cikinta ake samun sakewa da jin daɗi mara misali.

    Haka zalika tasirinta a zuciya baya kankaruwa sai bayan rai.

    Kuma a wannan soyayyar ne ma’aurata ke zama ɓarin jikin juna, yadda kasan cewa gini baya tsayuwa in ba ginshiƙi, haka aure yake in ba soyayya a cikinsa.

    Kowa rai ya yiwa daɗi ai bai yi ya mai shi ba.

    Kaso tamanin na soyayyar kafin aure a yaudara take ƙarewa, saɓanin gangariyar soyayyar ta bayan aure mai haɗe ruhin masoyan waje guda da samar masu natsuwa da martaba.

    Hujja Ta Hudu

    Hmmmm! Aikin wani sai kallo, kura ta ga akuya ta haihu tana lasar ɗa.

    Idan muka waiwayi rayuwar annabawa da Sahabbai, zamu ƙara tabbatar da armashin soyayyar bayan aure.

    Annabi Muhammad tsira da amincin Allah su tabbata a gare shi, shi ne mutumin da yafi kowa iya soyayya a duniya, ku je ku binciki tarihin rayuwarsa da iyalansa, za ku tabbatar da zancena.

    Sanin kowa ne a wancan ƙarnin ba a san wata soyayyar kafin aure ba, cikin hakan kuma suke gudanar da soyayyarsu mai tsafta, wacce ta kafa tarihin da ba wanda ya ajiye irinsa a duniya.

    Ai ko da girgiza kurna tafi magarya daɗi.

    Tasirin soyayyar bayan aure:

    Tana dawwamar da tunanin ɗayan masoyi a ƙwaƙwalwar ɗayan. Ido ba mudu ba ne, amma yasan ƙima.

    Zan barku a nan nasan a yanzu zaku iya banbance soyayyar da tafi armashi da muhimmanci.

    Na gode.

    Rukayya Ibrahim Lawal daga kungiyar Arewa Writers Association

     

    GOLDEN PEN WRITERS ASSOCIATION

     

    Shuwagabannin wannan gasa, Alƙalai, ƴan uwana abokan wannan Muhawara, ƴan uwana marubuta, masu saurare.

    Assalamu Alaikum.

    Sunana Umar Ɗalha. Wakilin ƙungiyar Golden Pen Writer’s Association. A yau ga mu a gaban ku, tare da tarin hujjoji na kare muradin cewa; lallai soyayya kafin aure tafi soyayya bayan aure.

    Juma’ar da za ta yi kyau tun daga laraba ake gane ta. Saboda haka soyayya kafin aure tafi soyayya bayan aure. Idan aka ce soyayya ta aure, to tabbas ana maganar soyayyar gaskiya ba irin wacce yara da sauran wasu matasan ke yi ba. Wato irin ta samarin Shaho ko irin ta cuɗeni in cuɗeka.

    Saboda haka a cikin soyayyar waje ne ɗan Adam ke gina soyayyarshi ta bayan aure. Idan muka yi duba da zamanin da muke ciki a yanzu, zamu ga zamani ne da ke cike da ruɗani ta fuskar samun soyayya ta ƙwarai a tsakanin masoya.  

    Gina soyayya kafin aure tana da matuƙar mahimmanci ga masoyan, a cikin gina soyayyar ne za su fahimci juna sosai, kuma za su shaƙu da junansu fiye da ace sun yi aure ba tare da gina soyayyar komai a tsakanin su ba. Ka da a yi riga malam masallaci.

    Idan muka duba, ita wannan soyayyar ta kafin aure, soyayya ce wacce take ƙara wa masoya kusanci da junansu, kuma take ƙara bayyana wa masoyan ɗabi’un junansu tare da irin halayyarsu ta komai. Sau da yawa zaku ga duk auren da aka sha gwagwarmaya ta soyayya har idan ta gaskiya ce, to ko anyi wannan auren bata taɓa gushewa, sai dai ta din ga ƙaruwa.

    A cikin soyayyar waje ne zaka fahimci shin wacece za ka aura, kuma a cikin soyayyar waje ne zaka gane hakurin macen da zaka aura ko rashin hakurin ta. Shimfiɗar fuska tafi ta tabarma. A cikin soyayyar waje ne mace za ta gane irin abubuwan da mijin da za ta aura yake buƙata da waɗanda baya buƙata.

    Sau da yawa idan iyayenmu suka haɗa auren yaransu, irin auren da mutanen ƙarnin baya ke haɗawa ƴaƴansu don su zauna lafiya tare da soyayyar junansu, to a wannan zamanin mafi yawan irin wannan ba zai faru ba, kuma har ace ana buƙatar su zauna lafiya. Abun da kamar wahala wai fashi a lahira. Haka a cikin soyayyar waje ne zaka fahimci wane irin so ne ake maka, shin soyayyar gaskiya ce a tsakaninku ko kuwa soyayyar wata manufa ce. Gani ya kori ji. 

    A zahirance har idan masoya sun yi dace da soyayya ta kwarai to tabbas za su gabatar da soyayya mai ma’ana wacce tafi ta bayan aure mahimmanci. Dalili kuwa shi ne: ita soyayyar waje ta kafin a yi aure, a cikin ta ne ake gina soyayyar gidan aure kamar yadda na faɗa a farko, nan ne zaku gudanar da soyayya ta gaskiya da gaskiya.

    To idan kuka yi soyayyar gaskiya da gaskiya a soyayyar kafin aure tabbas kun gina soyayyarku a bisa aminci tare da nema mata donƙon shaƙuwa, saboda ko da kun yi aure wannan soyayyar da kuka gina a waje ita ce za ta cigaba da ƙaruwa a tsakanin ku, hakuri, juriya, kawaici, biyayya, tausaya wa junanku, duk kun gina su a cikin soyayyarku ta kafin aure, to a yanzu ma sune zasu cigaba da bibiyarku a cikin rayuwar auren.

    Misali: Romeo bai auri Juliet ba, haka Laila bata auri Majnoon ba, amman duk kansu ana lissafa su a cikin masoyan da suka yi shuhura, wanda har tarihi mabambanta ya zo akan soyayyarsu, idan da lallai soyayya bayan aure tafi ta kafin aure, da an lissafo masoya bila’adadin a faɗin duniyar nan. Kukan kurciya.

    Alhamdulillah hujjojin mu sun kammala cike da tarin kalamai masu gamsarwa. Mun gode.

    Umar Dalha daga kungiyar Golden Pen Writers Association

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