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Rai da kaddara 2: Shafi na talatin

  • Rawar da zuciyar shi takeyi ce tasa har duka jikin shi na amsawa, ta waje da ta ciki, a zaune yake, sai yakejin kamar ya kwanta, ko zai samu sauki, ko zaiji wani abu ya zame mishi dai-dai ko da na dan lokaci ne, takarda ce a hannun shi, kwara daya da take lankwashe, bai kamata ace tana da nauyin da yakeji har cikin zuciyar shi ba. Karfin warware takardar yake nema, yanayin bugun zuciyar shi na fada masa bashida wannan karfin, bai shirya ba, in har takardar na masa nauyi haka, ya nauyin kalaman da take dauke dasu zai kasance? Bayaso ya bude abinda ba durkusar dashi kawai zaiyi ba binne shi zaiyi da ranshi.

    "Ya kamata in baka takardar nan, tuntuni ya kamata, tunda ka fara hankalin dana yarda dashi amman na kasa Bajjo, saboda ina tsoron kar ta zama sanadin da zakayi mana nisa irin wanda Bukar yayi mana, ban taba kwatanta budewa ba, bansan menene a ciki ba...Daada tace mun Bukar yace abinda duk yake a jakar naka ne, mallakinka ne, sai na dauka harda wannan takardar, zuciyata ce ta hanani baka, idan ka tashi lissafin abubuwan da zaka yafe mun harda boye maka wannan"

    Haka Julde yace masa, shi baije wajen Julde don ya dawo da wannan nauyin ba, ya shiga ne da niyyar ya duba shi saboda kullum Saratu na cewa bacci yakeyi, daya tambayi Khalid ma haka yace tace masa, amman Khalid din yayi magana da likita, yace masa jinin Julde daya hau ya sauka, idan ya kiyaye ka'idojin duk da aka shimfida zai cigaba da samun sauki cikin hukuncin Allah. Haka kawai saiya kasa samun natsuwa, dan ko da Saratun tace masa

    "Bacci yakeyi"

    Kai ya girgiza mata, saboda a kasan kwalliyar da take fuskarta yana ganin damuwa shimfide, yana kuma ganin idanuwanta da suka nuna alamun yawan hawayen da suke zubarwa, da kuma wanda suke kwance a ciki a lokacin

    "Ina so in ganshi, dan Allah Nanna... Zan ganshi ne kawai"

    Sai kuwa ta jinjina masa kai, sai daya kwankwasa dakin Julden ya tura, yana zaune akan gado, suna hada ido sai yaga yanda Julden yake shirin saukowa, kamar yana neman wajen da zai ruga don ya boye, yanayin shi na saka shi gane cewa ba bacci yake ba duk sanda suka zo da nufin duba shi, boye musu yake, suma boyewar sukeyi shisa a cikinsu babu wanda ya matsa saiya ganshi ko da daga kwancen ne, su duka gujewa fuskantar juna sukeyi

    "Idan ka cigaba da boyewa, Daddy idan muka cigaba da boyewa ya zamu wuce abin nan? Ya zaiyi mana saukin dauka?"

    Kalaman suka subuce ma Nawfal suna dukan shi kamar yanda suka daki Julden, kamar kuma ba daga bakin shi suka fito ba, saboda su duka biyun suna bukatar jinsu, daya taka ya karasa yana zama gefen gadon, sai hawayen da suke yawan kwace ma Julde a cikin kwanakin nan suka sake kwace masa yau, a karon farko, a gaban Nawfal. Sai dai ya zaiyi? Ya zai rage nauyin da yake danne da zuciyar shi? Ba zai boye har abada ba ya sani, amman so yake ya boye, daya fadin nan baiso ya tashi ba, ya sone ace da suka dauke shi, rami ne suka sauke shi a ciki suka bi da kasa yanda ba zai sake motsin da za'ace saiya fuskanci kowanne a cikin su ba.

    Amman idan fa akace rami, a matsayin shi na musulmi kalma ce mai nauyin gaske, kalma ce da take dauke da tarin ma'anoni, hakan na nufin a binne shi, idan akayi maganar binnewa ko da ba'a cika ka'idojin da musulunci yazo dashi ba kabari bahaushe zai kira inda duk aka zira shi akabi da kasa, kabarin shi, kuma a cikin yan kwanakin nan ya fuskanci tarin zunuban da suke kan shi, ya kuma kara sanin idan shekara dari aka kara masa ba zai taba jin sun isheshi aikata aikin alkhairin da za'a binne shi babu wasi-wasi a zuciyar shi ba, babu taraddadin ko Allah ya karbi tubanshi ko bai karba ba.

    Idan har tunanin fuskantar yaran shi na razana shi haka, fuskantar su da zunubi kwara daya da yake tunanin shi kadai suka san yayi kokarin aikatawa bai san yanda zai fuskanci Allah a filin qiyama ba, a gaban taron da zai kasance na duk wata halitta da aka taba wanzarwa a duniya, mala'iku, aljanu, mutane da ma halittun da Allah daya halicce sune yabarwa kanshi sanin wanzuwar su. Kunyar duniya ce kawai wannan? A cikin tashi duniyar ma ta mutanen da yasan zasuyi komai don ganin asirin shi ya rufu? Itace kadai ta gigita lissafin shi haka? Ta saka hawayen shi suke ta zuba kamar ba zasu taba tsayawa ba?

    Saboda a cikin shekaru masu yawa, a karon farko yaji kamar ya dawo cikin hayyacin shi, kamar abinda yake daure dashi ya sake shi tun ranar, da ya bude ido ranar, da baiga kukan da Saratu takeyi ba, da batace masa

    "Kamar mata sun kare a duniya Julde? Na waje basu isheka ba? Idan sun kare a Kano kana da halin da zaka bisu wajen Kano, baka ga kowa ba, sai ita? Sai Madina? Sai Madina kamar ba daga jikin Yelwa ta fito ba? Zunuban da kake dauka kullum basu isa su binneka ba sai ka kara da nauyin wannan?"

    Zai iya dauka komai ya faru ne a mafarki, mummunar mafarki da idan akace ya bada abinda ya mallaka duka don ya guje ma faruwar shi a gaske zai mika batare da yayi dogon tunani ba

    "Baka so ka aureni ba nasani, ka fadamun da bakinka, tun daga ranar dana shiga gidanka zuwa yau, Julde ka shafe kaso mafi girma na ranakun wajen tabbatar mun yanda baka so na, kayi duk wani kokarin ganin ka rabani da kanka na jure, wannan... Ba zan iya ba... Ba zan iya ba Julde, so da aurenka ne kaddarata, da yardar Allah ba zasu zama ajalina ba..."

    Ta karasa tana saka hannu ta goge hawayenta da kamar ta bawa wasu damar fitowa, jikinta na wata irin kyarma da bata da alaka da zazzabin tashin hankalin da ya lullubeta kamar bargo, dakyar ta iya mikewa, ya riko hannunta, saboda a karon farko a rayuwar shi, a cikin abubuwan daya samu ya kuma rasa, babu guda daya da baya tare da Saratu, akwai mutuwa ya sani, amman ko ita bai taba hasaao zata rabashi da Saratu ba, saboda a wautar tunani irin tashi zai rigata tafiya. Itace abu kwara daya da yake da yakinin babu wani abu da zai faru tabar bangaren shi. Ko akan yaranshi bashi da wannan tabbacin kamar yanda yake dashi akanta.

    Ba dan yana sonta ba, ba don auren soyayya sukayi ba, amman mutanen duk da yaso din wanda yaba dalili da wanda bai ba wani dalili ba haka suka barshi, suka barshi ita tana tare dashi, shisa yanzun da yaji daga bakinta, ya ga alama a cikin idanuwanta wani irin kadaici mai tare da firgici ya daki duniyar shi yana barazanar ruguza abinda yayi saura

    "Ke kadaice Saratu, ke kadaice baki taba guduna ba duk dalilin dana baki, karki fara yau, karki fara yau da nake jin na rasa komai, a ciki harda yardar yara na...idan kika tafi shikenan, bani da komai... Da gaske komai zai zo mun karshe tare da tafiyar taki"

    Ya karasa cikin wata murya da ta sake karya mata zuciya, saita koma ta zauna, yana kallonta tayi kuka kamar ba zata daina ba, tayi kuka har bacci ya dauketa hannun shi yana cikin nata, nashi hawayen basu fara zuba ba sai da duhun dare ya mamaye sauran hasken da yake gari, sai daya rufe idanuwan shi hoton shi tsaye akan Madina da nufin keta duk wata yarda da aminci da ta dauka ta danka masa, tsallake kallon da take yi masa na wanda ya maye gurbin mahaifin da ta rasa ya rusata ta hanyar da ba zata taba komawa dai-dai ba har karshen rayuwarta, sai da wannan hoton ya dawo masa yana saka numfashin sa ya fara yi masa barazana sannan ya tashi zaune.

    Yaja iska ta kasa kai masa inda ya kamata balle yayi kokarin fito da ita, a tsakanin wannan kokawar da yakeyine hawaye masu dumi suka fara saukar masa kafin wani irin wahalllen gunjin kuka ya kwace masa

    "Hamma ina son ka, ka sani aiko?"

    Muryar Yelwa ta zabi ta dawo masa a dai-dai wannan lokacin

    "Shisa banda wata damuwa Hamma, saboda nasan abinda ba zaka mallaka mun ba, abinda baya karkashin ikonka ne kawai"

    Ta takan fada duk idan ta nuna tana son wani abu ya samo abin nan ya bata shi, ya sani, Yelwa ta tabbatar masa da haihuwar shi Daada tayi, amman idan aka saka soyayyar su a ma'auni zaiyi wahala wadda take masa batafi ta Daada yawa ba. Me ya same shi da zai kokarin rusa gudan jininta? Ko daya saba tsallake halarcin shi ya rungumi haram da hannayen shi a bude, ya kamata ace akwai haram din da tafi karfin shi, akwai layuka ko a haramcin da bai kamata yayi kokarin tsallakawa ba irin yanda yayi. Sai yake neman ranar da zuciyar shi ta fara haska masa Madina a matsayin mace dan ya koma yasa wuka ya ciro zuciyar ya yarda ita ya huta, amman ranar saita bace masa a cikin sauran ranaku.

    A cikin ranakun daya shafe awanni yanajin kamar wani abu yana bibiyar rayuwar shi, wani abu da idan ya cimmasa komai zai iya zuwa masa karshe. Ashe da gaskene, gashi nan da komai yazo karshe sai yake danne shi, da Saratu ta tashi ta rike shi ma saita sa wani kukan ya kwace masa, kuka yake kashi-kashi, kuka yake akan abubuwa da yawa, musamman damar daya samu a tare da Datti ya kasa zuwa ya zube a gabanshi ya roki ya yafe masa, ya ianye kalaman shi akan shi, ya roke shi akan gwiwoyin shi komin tsayin kwanakin da zai dauka har saiya yafe masa, saiya fada da bakin shi ya yafe masa sannan. Baiyi haka ba, ya dauka yanda lokaci ya tafi da Datti zai tafi da duk tsinuwar da ya dinga yi masa, zai kuma tafi da tasirin bakin shi yabar holokon kalaman kawai.

    Ashe suna nan da nauyin su kamar jiya ya furta masa su, kunyar da ya nemar masa yaji ta, ya kunyata a gaban mutanen da suka fi komai muhimmanci a wajen shi, yaji kunyar da yake da tabbacin lokaci kawai ba zai tafi da ita ba

    "Ka daina boye mana Daddy, ba zai canza komai ba"

    Cewar Nawfal yana kallon shi, kai Julde ya daga yana saka hannu ya goge hawayen shi. Shi da kanshi Nawfal ba zaice ga asalin abinda suka fada ba, ya dai san Julde ya maimaita masa babu abinda ya faru, kuma ya yarda dashi tun ranar, ya maimaita masa ya yafe masa fiye da yanda ya maimaita masa babu abinda ya farun, ya rasa meya rike masa harshe, meya hana shi yace masa ya yafe masa, ko dan yafiyar ba abu bane da zai faru lokaci daya? Watakila sai a hankali, tare da ciwon yardarsu da ya karya, yanda bai koyi kokarin danne zuciyarshi ya nuna mata abinda take so abune da zai rusa zuciyoyin su duka ba. Yana kallon shi ya sauka daga kan gadon ya bude wardrobe din shi, a ciki ya janyo wata jaka, a cikin jakar ma alamun shi sun nuna akwai abubuwa da yawa daya bude kafin ya dauko takardar da take hannun Nawfal din yanajin nauyinta a duka jikin shi, ya damka masa ita.

    Numfashi yaja yana fitar da iskar ta bakin shi, jikin shi na rawa ya bude takardar, yana tsintar kanshi da saka dayan hannun shi ya shafi rubutun, kafin ya rike da duka hannuwan shi biyu kamar yana rike da hannayen Bukar da suka bace a cikin tunanin shi, tayi kama da wasika, sai dai wasikar duniya duka daya sani, da wadda aka koya musu a farko babu wadda ta fara da sunan marubucin ta kamar yanda wannan ta fara dashi:

    Bukar,

    Abubuwan da zan fada ji nakeyi sunfi karfin littafi balle in tattara jimilarsu a yar takarda guda daya, banda tabbacin mutum daya da nake son rubutun nan domin, idan nace abinda na haifa dole in naqalta jinsi a tare dashi, sai dai hakan ba zai yiwu ba, 'yata zance ko 'dana tunda ban kai da ganin su ba. Ina rubutun nan ne saboda zuciyata na rawa akan abubuwa da yawa, ciki harda rashin tabbacin zanyi tsayin ran da zanga abinda yake cikin matata.

    Cikakken sunana Bukar Baabuga, dan asalin kauyen Marake, da ga Dije matar Julde, idan kaje Marake duka ka tambayi Julden Hammadi ba za'a rasa wanda suka sanshi ba, idan kuka same shi zaku samo mahaifiyata, zaku gano Daada. Na biyo Hamma na da sunan karatu, sai dai dalili yasa ban tsaya makarantar da yayi ba, yanzun nake fahimtar a cikin dalilin nan harda kaddarar haduwa da Kaltume, saboda mahaifinta ya zabeni satika biyu da zuwana Borno a cikin tarin almajiran da suke karkashin Malamin mu, da fadin ya yarda da natsuwata, ya aminta da cancantata daya daga cikin yaran gidan shi.

    Mahaifin Kaltume bai rikeni a dan aikace-aikacen gidan shi kawai ba, haduwata dashi saita kara inganta rayuwata, sai yake jana har wajen kasuwancin shi, a hankali saina fahimci babu shiri a tsakanin shi da 'yan uwan shi duk kuwa kasancewar kowannen su karkashin kulawar shi, cikin ni'imar tarin dukiyar da Allah ya azurta shi da ita, yau da gobe na san cewa mahaifi suka hada, shi kadai mahaifiyar shi ta haifa kafin rasuwarta, mai rabon ganin badin da ake fada ce ta kasance akan shi, sai kuma Allah ya ware shi a cikinsu ya azurta.

    Akan dukiya, shine karona na farko da nagani ba naji labari ba, 'yan uwa na neman rayuwar dan uwansu, rayuwarshi suke nema amman ni da nake kusa dashi, da lokaci ya koyawa kaunar shi ni nakejin tsoro. Yanda yake shi kadai a wajen mahaifiyar shi, haka Kaltume take ita kadai a wajen shi. Naje marake, na dawo na samu rasuwar matarshi mahaifiyar Kaltume, na same shi yana wani ciwo da rayuwa ba'a hannuna take ba amman zuciyata na fadamun ba zai tashi ba, a cikin ciwon ya danka amanar Kaltume a hannu na, a cikin ciwon ya bukaci bayason kasa ta rufe idanuwan shi ban amshi aurenta ba. Daga ni har ita an daura mana aure bayan na rana daya bamu taba hango kasancewa karkashin inuwa daya a matsayin mata da miji ba

    Ba Kaltume kawai ya dankamun amana ba, harda dukiyarta da tashi ce, saiya rasu, kasar dai ta rufe idanuwan shi yana barina da Kaltume, yana barmun nauyin zame mata abubuwa biyu masu muhimmanci da ta rasa, ya bar mata gadon arzikin shi, ya barmun na kiyayyar 'yan uwanshi da gari ya dauki zargin da sa hannun shi a jinyar da ta zama ajalinsu shi da matar shi, ni da Kaltume munyi ciwo, munyi jinya kala-kala muna tashi, kamar yanda ta roka, nayi yunkuri, nayi duk wani kokari na mubar Borno zuwa Marake sai wani abu ya danne ni, sai in kasa. Haka kawai nakejin kamar cikin jikinta ba zanyi tsayin kwanan ganin shi ba.

    Baya takardar Nawfal ya juya, babu cigaba, baisan abinda yake ji ba, ya mike tsaye, ya koma ya zauna, kafin ya murza takardar saboda yaji alamar kamar guda biyu ce, sai ga dayar ta fito, yana rike da numfashin shi ya soma bin wasikar

    Bukar,

    Da gaske babu abinda addu'a ta bari, a ciki harda yau da muka hada kayan mu duka, bayan shekara hudu, yau mun hada kayan mu tsaf da nufin barin Borno babu wanda ya fita daga hayyacin shi, tun azahar, ga dare na neman rabawa, amman daga zuciyata nake jin zamu iya barin Borno a safiyar gobe da yardar Allah, babu abinda zai faru, zamuyi nisa da kowa da komai, zamuyi nisa dasu.

    Wannan karin har dayar takardar Nawfal ya dauko ya sake murzawa, ya zazzaga amman babu komai, su biyun ne kawai. Bayan Bukar, suna daya kawai ya karu, sunan mahaifiyar da ko a tunanin shi ba zai iya tunata ba, Kaltume, ya dauka takardar dauke take da wasu sirrika, wasu bayanai da zasu amsa masa tarin tambayoyin da yake dasu bawai su sake jefa shi cikin sabon rudani ba

    Zasuyi nisa da komai
    Zasuyi nisa dasu
    Su
    Suwa?
    Basu da sunaye?
    Kamar bashi da wasu abubuwan da yake son warwarewa
    Ta ina zai fara yanzun?

    *

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